


Tony Stark Pokes at Things He Shouldn't

by ArteaCactus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Basically, F/M, Heimdall (Marvel) Lives, Loki (Marvel) Lives, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Lives, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, i have no idea where this fic will go so, robert downey jr and tony stark are friends, the mcu cast help him get back home, tony ends up in our world, tony goes into another dimension, where you ask?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArteaCactus/pseuds/ArteaCactus
Summary: You can't just tell Tony Stark there's a multiverse and expect him not to go prodding at it. Now he's in another dimension and has to get back home somehow, with the help of... himself?





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this is such a crack fic jgkdjksdfg
> 
> I had no clue where the hell RDJ lived and I kinda need that knowledge for this so uhh.. my Google history looks vaguely stalker-ish (please excuse me if I get things wrong)
> 
> Not Beta-ed

To be fair, yeah,  _ maybe  _ Tony shouldn’t have been messing around with portals to other dimensions.

But come on, you can’t just tell him about there being a multiverse and then expect him not to go poking at things that were better left alone. Tony wanted to know what some of these alternate realities were like, and he sure as hell was gonna try to stick his nose in one.

He spent weeks, all day and all night, fumbling with tech and trying to figure out how to make this work; stick this wire here, push this button at this time,  _ damn it FRIDAY let me play with my machines I don’t  _ have  _ to sleep _ .

And finally, Tony was getting tired of it. He threw his screwdriver on the ground after one last failed attempt, the tool smacking against the metal ring of the portal- 

And it fired up, a bright and sickly green, swirling in mesmerising patterns, sparks occasionally flying out of it, showing its instability; but Tony didn’t care.

He got his multi-dimensional portal to  _ work _ . He could work out the errors later.

Tony fist-pumped in triumph, jumping up from his seat. He danced around the area in sheer excitement, patting Dum-E on the head as he did so. 

“We did it, kids!” A wide grin stretched across his face, and as he neared the portal, he didn’t see the screwdriver below his feet.

His words of victory were cut off, however, as he tripped on the tool, yelling out in surprise as it rolled under his feet and propelled him forwards-

Directly into the portal.

His vision was clouded in the blinding green for a moment, and then he felt wind hitting his face. 

Opening his eyes (he didn’t even realize he’d closed them), he realized he was falling through the air, plummeting towards water, and that was something he’d like to avoid.

Frantically, he lifted his hand, tapping on his Arc Reactor, letting out a deep sigh of relief when his Iron Man suit enveloped his body, though the relief was short-lived when he realized he wasn’t getting any further from the ground.

Thankfully, just before he touched the surface of the water, he rocketed upwards.

Barking out a stunned laugh, Tony didn’t realize where he was headed until he smashed right into glass.

The sharp crash of armor hitting tile rang throughout the house he’d accidentally burst into, and thankfully(?) he smacked right into a couch, stopping him from destroying any more of this poor person’s home.

His suit of armor retracted into his Reactor and he laid there on the floor for a minute, catching his breath, looking out the window he had come through (whoever this person was, they sure had good taste in views).

After a few moments, he pushed himself up, and couldn’t resist sarcastically talking to himself (he didn’t hear anyone rushing to see what the commotion was, maybe he got lucky and no one was home).

“ Alright, alright, great job Stark, now you crossed a portal into another dimension you don’t know and you have no way to get back, whoop-de-fuckin-do-”

He cut off abruptly as he staggered to his feet and realized he was not alone; as a matter of fact, he was in a house full of people that looked an awful lot like himself and his fellow teammates, who were staring at him as if he had three heads. He supposed it wasn't every day you come face-to-face with yourself.

“Well.. shit.”


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A round of confusing introductions and Tony realizes returning home won't be as easy as he first thought.

“Hi. Hello.” Tony sheepishly waved, upon realizing they sure weren’t gonna say anything anytime soon; they looked too stunned to function. “Sorry about the window. Didn’t mean to smash into it. Probably should have been watching where I was going. I’ll help fix it, promise.”

Still silence.

While weighing the pros and cons of telling them who he was (it’s bad enough he already came face to face with himself; one of the biggest things you should  _ not  _ do in this situation), Tony did what he did best, and that was talking.

“So, uh, I don’t think I have any value here.. Probably? I don’t know, maybe. So I can’t buy a new window, but hey, I can fix things. I could  _ totally  _ fix it. It might have some cracks and shit but whatever, it’ll be fixed and functioning. And that’s what matters. Cool.” Taking a deep breath, he tapped a small earpiece that expanded into glasses using his nanotech, the blue-tinted shades immediately projecting the voice of his AI in his ears. “FRIDAY, can you- no, stop playing Despacito, FRI, that’s  _ not  _ helping-”

Movement from the corner of his eye stopped his panicked rambling, and he swivelled his head around, gaze locking with his doppelganger’s.

FRIDAY scanned him, reporting to him that his name was Robert John Downey Jr., and he was an actor. He didn’t hear anything else as FRIDAY became drowned out by said man speaking.

“This is gonna sound very stupid if I’m wrong,” He said slowly, and Tony realized that even their  _ voices  _ were the same, “But are you, by any chance, Tony Stark?”

“Oh, good, so you have heard of me.” Tony didn’t know whether he should be relieved or not, to be perfectly honest, “This has only become the slightest bit less awkward.”

“Wait, like the honest-to-god Tony Stark?” The one that looks like Peter squawked- and he was  _ British _ . If nothing else made Tony want to scream out of sheer confusion, that sure as hell did.

“Uh, yeah? Is there not a Tony Stark in this world?” Tony didn’t know whether or not to wish there was. “I mean, there is  _ now _ , if there isn’t.”

“Not like… a  _ real person _ , per se.” Robert spoke carefully, like he was trying to decide what to tell Tony and what not to tell him.

It only succeeded in making Tony all the more curious about what type of world this was.

“Alright, well, you know me, I don’t know you, introductions are needed.” Tony spoke after a minute of contemplative silence, “Hi. Anthony Edward Stark, prefer to go by Tony. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Iron Man. Pleasure to meet you. Or not, it depends on how much of an asshole you are, but I’m hoping for the best.”

The group seemed to zero in on Robert, as if he were expected to introduce the rest of them. To be fair, it must have been a shock to them to see one of their buddies duplicated in front of them.

“Uh, yeah.. I’m Robert Downey Jr., call me RDJ, Robert, I don’t care; I’m an actor, and I play Tony Stark in the Iron Man movie trilogy.” 

Oh.

Okay, well now he understood what they meant by ‘not a real person’.

And also why they relied on Robert to introduce himself first;  _ technically _ , that was  _ sort of  _ himself in front of him. In more ways than he’d initially thought.

“I’m not sure if that makes things more or less weird.” Tony declared after a minute of pondering, “But please, continue, I still don’t know who anyone else is. Well, I do, but you know. Probably not who I’m thinking of.”

After going through the list (Loki- Tom- being a brunette with a beard and glasses is something Tony would never be able to erase from his mind, it was almost as weird as Peter-  _ also _ Tom- being British), Tony decided he was gonna need them all to wear name tags or something.

“Seriously, a post-it on the forehead, something..” Tony trailed off, after almost calling Holland Peter. “Anything is helpful.”

“You can probably just call us by our stage names and we’ll still answer,” Evans assured him (or was it Hemsworth? No, Hemsworth was Thor, right?), “After doing it for a decade, it’s almost like it  _ is  _ my name.”

“I feel that,” Robert scoffed, “The amount of times I’ve been called ‘Stark’ is unbelievable.”

“Not really,” Holland shrugged, “I mean, even when you got the part at the very beginning you’ve acted just like him. Seriously, it was meant to be.”

After everyone else helpfully chimed in with their agreement, Tony shook himself, and straightened his back. “Alright, well, arguing aside,” Tony waved away the huff from Hiddleston (“You started it!”), “I need to find a way back. There’s two of me here, and zero of me back home. Where I have a kid. S. Plural. I have kids. And a wife. And a  _ company _ . And a  _ superhero identity _ -”

“We get it, you’re really super important,” Jeremy rolled his eyes, but Tony didn’t let it bother him, since he was clearly teasing and knew full well how important Tony was, “We don’t know how to get you back. Up until ten minutes ago we didn’t know you existed beyond comic books and movies.”

“Yeah, that.. That complicates things, doesn’t it?” Tony muttered, then perked up. At least he wasn’t totally alone; he had FRIDAY!

“FRI. Activate ‘ _ I’ve Fallen In A Wormhole And Can’t Get Up _ ’ protocol.” He commanded, despite the instant look of childlike wonder on the grown men (and woman)’s faces when they realized he had an actual advanced AI in his glasses; which reminds him, he hasn’t shown them the suit yet.

“Sorry, Boss, but the signals won’t go through,” FRIDAY sounded apologetic- or at least as apologetic as a robot could sound, “The closed portal cut off your connection to everything on the other side of it.”

Tony cursed.

That made things a hell of a lot more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize in advance; I'm not good with science-y things, and so a LOT of the stuff relating to science is gonna be completely made up and make no real sense, and/or I'll really quickly skim through it so you get the gist without going into too much detail. I realize it'll take from the story but I'd rather that than sound like I know what I'm doing and get things horribly, horribly wrong


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony impresses everyone, and Robert realizes he has to be a babysitter.

“Alright, well, to be fair I could never really test if that protocol worked considering I never jumped into a wormhole into the multiverse.” Tony sighed in exasperation, slamming his hands down onto the table nearest to him. “But now I’m back to square one. Actually, no, I’m back before square one. I’m stuck at triangle zero. I have no clue where to go from here. I don’t have my tech or anything to help me out. I have FRIDAY, a lightly beaten suit, and no starting point.”

“Yeah, that.. Does sound like a bad situation.” Robert conceded, though Tony heard the ‘but’ before it even came, “But hey, you’re not alone..?”

No, he really wasn’t, Tony mused as he stared at the sea of faces in front of him. Seriously, almost everyone in the Avengers team were there; Robert, Evans, Hemsworth, Jeremy, Scarlett, Mark, Anthony, Holland, Hiddleston (seriously, he never would have guessed in any universe that Loki was friends with them). He supposed he was lucky (or extremely unlucky) to find himself among a group of familiar faces. However..

“But none of you,” He swept his hand across, gesturing to the whole crowd, “Really know the intricacies of my tech. Bruce and Peter would be very helpful to have at the moment.” He muttered, and tapped his glasses once. “FRIDAY, is  _ all  _ connection back home lost?”

Rather than speaking directly to him, FRIDAY’s voice projected out his glasses and echoed around them. 

“No, sir, not all.”

“What do we have, then?”

“You still have connection to me.”

Tony paused.

“Is that.. Is that _ it _ ?”

“As far as I can tell, yes.”

“Well then look harder, FRI, if you can get to me still then there’s still hope you could open a communication line so I could alert that I’ve fallen through my own science project right after I was told not to go poking at it.”

“Yes, boss.”

“That’s so cool,” Holland breathed, and Tony realized that, much like how Robert was basically himself, Holland was  _ basically  _ Peter. But British.

“I suppose,” Tony beamed, clearly pleased with himself. “She’s no JARVIS, though,”

“Remember I can leak all of your embarrassing photos, boss.” FRIDAY retorted, though Tony knew it wasn’t serious (well.. He hoped, anyway).

“Are you threatening me, FRI?”

“Of course not, boss.”

Tony hummed in disbelief, then waved his hands at the group. “Do you, by any chance, have like.. Food? I haven’t eaten more than a granola bar in.. I don’t know how many days, but it’s been days. Haven’t slept in a few days either but that’s fine, we don’t need to worry about that.”

“Tony.” Evans sighed, exasperated, “You are the worst at self-care.”

Tony made an offended sound. “I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

With a glance at his Arc Reactor, Evans shook his head. “Just barely.”

“We don’t have food, anyway,” Robert cut in, “We just came back from a press tour. All food in the house had to be tossed out, it was bad. We were considering ordering pizza. You in?”

“Sounds great,” Tony replied, giving a thumbs-up.  “I don’t care what kind, I’ll eat anything you put in front of me, unless it’s like, a salad.”

Robert scooted away from the group to order, and his disappearance seemed to have triggered a pop quiz. Everyone bombarded him with questions immediately, and he answered them as best he could; most of them were about their own characters in his world (“Can Peter really stick to the ceiling?”, “Did Bruce and Hulk actually come to peace?”, “Does Steve really leave his legs unguarded in battle?”).

Hiddleston, though, seemed more curious about the tech-aspects of the other world. 

“You have an actual, honest-to-God, nanotech Iron Man suit?”

Tony tapped near his Reactor. “Right in here.”

“Can we see it?” Holland’s eyes stretched wide like a child’s, and Tony was seriously wondering if he was lying about being in his 20s, “Please?”

“Sure,” Tony’s grin at how excited they all got just gave away what he was about to say before he said it, “Someday.”

Robert walked back in the room to a chorus of groans and Tony cackling.

Oh, boy, Robert was gonna have to babysit them all, wasn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are all gonna be rlly short, im sorry ;;
> 
> suggest some things for them to do!! id like some fillers before drama :0


End file.
